L. David Marquet has written a couple of books that, in my opinion should be ‘required reading’ for any manager. In his second book, ‘Leadership is language’
the author discusses the idea of collaboration versus coercion. In the book, Marquet tells the story of a doomed ship and how, among other things, the captains use of coercive language restricted the crew’s ability to change course. Eventually the ship sank in a storm…and when we aren’t careful, our projects sink, too.
Marquet highlights how the captain used language to force his crew to comply…don’t misunderstand, Marquet is not painting the captain as some evil villain bent on self-destruction…rather that captain is playing from an old ‘playbook’. More on that later….but lets get back to this idea of coercion.
You may be saying….Whoa!? Wait a second…coercion…that sounds harsh…we don’t coerce people…after all…we’re all on the same team…we just want what’s best for the customer…and besides, we already committed to doing this this way.
Marquet discusses how many of us use the ‘old playbook’ that was written in the industrial era. The ‘thinker’, or the boss, decides and seeks validation from the group, or ‘doers’. Have you had a conversation that went like this:
Boss- it seems pretty easy, right?
Employee – sure? I guess.
Boss-I mean, if we remove the discombobulation device, then allow for a recombobulation, it will be fine, right?
Employee-I guess, probably.
Boss-so, we are all good, right?
Employee- uh…sure…I guess. (leaves meeting, rolls eyes..mumbles)
This is an example of what Marquet calls “Self-Affirming questions”. They are binary in nature…you are left with a choice of ‘no’ or ‘yes’…Not a big deal until you couple this with the fact that most of us work in a culture where we don’t question our boss. In fact, most of us behave as if we will be fired if we speak up! That’s not true…and a topic for another day.
The crew of the ‘El Faro’ did not question their boss…they did not debate…they went along and mumbled among them selves’ things like ‘we are the only ones out here’ and ‘this is not going to be good’. Most of us will not face these life-or-death situations….at most our projects will be delayed, our customers will be angry and we might be more frustrated than we should be.
What I’m saying is this…be curious! Let’s readjust the above conversation.
Boss- it seems pretty easy, right?
Employee -In my experience, there is a lot work required. Perhaps there is an easier way, would you like to discuss?
Boss-I mean, if we remove the discombobulation device, then allow for a recombobulation, it will be fine, right?
Employee-It might appear that way on the surface, but tasks and resources required are complicated and might require more effort. Would you like to discuss?
Boss-so, we are all good, right?
Employee- I am not comfortable with this situation. I need some clarification on things before I am ready to agree. I would like to discuss these questions with you.